Most of us have been falsely accused at one time or another. To the person accusing you, it seems every action or word is colored through their special lenses colored by judgment. It’s almost like they’re intent on believing the wrong thing about you no matter how you try to prove them wrong. It’s frustrating to have any kind of interaction with them and it hurts. What makes this happen? It’s especially hurtful when we’ve worked hard to be good to them.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!Matthew 6:22-23
Most people don’t try to intentionally misunderstand us or find offense. In the light of Matthew 6:22-23, some people simply have “bad” eyes. It usually comes from painful life experiences that form negative inner expectations. Joyce Meyer says that she was so brutally abused in childhood she was convinced that she would only have a second-rate life. She was miserable with and even mean with her husband for a long time, even though he was a peaceful and loving guy. She found things to be mad about because she had this inner vow that she’d never had a happy life. She was also very angry and took it out on him. No one is innocent, we are all human and all mess up. You don’t need to be around someone who waits to seize the opportunity to fuel their judgments.
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.Matthew 7:3-5
Bitter Root Contageon
Joyce Meyer didn’t really know that her life’s predictions were causing her to sabotage her life, but they were. She had such an abusive, mean, and controlling father that she didn’t realize that it colored her eyes to see the worst in people. She saw things that Dave did as controlling and mean, even if they weren’t. Her response was to hit back hard as if he was her father, not her husband who loved her and didn’t care to control her. The Bible warns us to watch for bitterness because it’s contagious in that way. You spread offense because your resentment is causing pain offense, and bitterness in others. it becomes a ring of bitterness and so toxic no one can stand it.
Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it—Hebrews 12:15
What To Do
It’s important to trust God more than people, but also to get counseling. Humans are flawed, but God is not. You should allow yourself to be vulnerable with God, but seek wisdom and counsel from a professional who has some distance and perspective. We all need help at one time or another. The poem below is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable to God and deal with personal issues. God does new things all the time. Remember the accuser is the devil, he accuses us to us, us to others, those other people to us, and even goes to God and accuses us. He fuels our bitterness and the bitterness of those around us. We need counseling and we can overcome by Jesus’ blood, our testimony, and a life given to God.
“Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.Revelation 12:10-11
It’s called “Win the War” written from God’s perspective about being vulnerable to him while dealing with accusations from people. The more we give to God, the less vulnerable we are to the enemy of our souls.